posts.

My Latest Posts

  • “watch me!”
    My final day working in the office at the Ballet is quickly approaching. Bar none, the part I’m going to miss the most is going to be my relationship with the girls. So many of these dancers are my former students and/or Party Girls, most of them I’ve been in their life for the majority… Continue reading “watch me!”
  • the truth, I guess.
    what do you writewhen you feel too much butdon’t have anything to say andwords are the safest thing?
  • reunion
    you hugged me yesterday  and the smell of you is still in my hair catching me off guard  every time the breeze blows from east to west and  my senses are assaulted  with nostalgia, and no sooner i’ve identified the memory it fails me and I forget as my emotions settle back down only for… Continue reading reunion
  • you’re always 17 in your hometown
    I went to a private Christian school from kindergarten through 8th grade when my parents pulled my sister and I out the summer before freshman year. We homeschooled, and then after one year I begged to be put in public school. My friends were in public school now, and I wanted to be with them… Continue reading you’re always 17 in your hometown
  • hard conversations.
    On Wednesday, I took one of my dance babies on my walk with me. She has gone with me before and has dubbed them my “hot girl walks.” I was excited when she agreed to join because I wanted to bring up a rather difficult and sensitive topic with her—one which has come up and… Continue reading hard conversations.
  • be here.
    you send me pictures of the two of us and my mindinstantly tears myself apart;‘Look how huge your arms are,your face is terrible these days,you should be ashamed.’But you say,‘These pictures make me so happy.”All you see is arms holding you,and a face that is happy to be there—you look at these picturesand see love,… Continue reading be here.
  • I want it more than I’m scared of it.
    Last Thursday was slated to be a day that had me all over the place: work at the courthouse at 7:30, leave for class at 8:30, whenever class ends (supposed to be 11:30 but it can vary) take the hit on my time getting back to the courthouse so I can let the dog I’m… Continue reading I want it more than I’m scared of it.
  • that’s all.
    I’m nostalgic for a pastthat never actually existedin the way I had myself convinced. Six-year-old me thought I was safebecause it was familiar, butshe was never safe there, not really. It’s taken decades to find a placewhere there’s no double meanings—no veiled threats under compliments here. I reach out my hand, it’s bigger now,and show… Continue reading that’s all.
  • First Autumn Semester
    At this point, we’re fully a month and change into the autumn semester of college. I’m only taking two classes this semester, which is by design as I’m currently still working two different jobs. The other classes I could have added in don’t have to be done in any particular order, so it’s easy enough… Continue reading First Autumn Semester
  • Capability.
    “I kinda feel a little unstoppable.” This was a thought I had to myself as I copied the introduction to my POI (Program of Oral Interpretation) from my working document into the final document before sending it over to my Speech director, both the POI and the introduction feeling like such impossibilities that if I… Continue reading Capability.
  • words.
    I’m in a Public Speaking class for the Summer II session at a community college and today I gave my second speech. My first speech last week had me nervous. I was on the Speech and Debate team in high school, but I wasn’t one of the “good ones” even though our coach is a… Continue reading words.
  • 1 July 2025
    (journal entry) “I used to read about historical events and find it…interesting? odd? How people could go on with normal life as well, the weight of the historical event seeming all encompassing. But of course what I’m learning about is the main thing—I’m having to focus on that—but history isn’t this singular happening, its a… Continue reading 1 July 2025
  • Little me is listening.
    I have a former ballet student I first started teaching when she was in my 3-4 year old class and taught until she was five. That year was interrupted by this jerk named Covid, and also ended up being my last year teaching, but now that she’s older and in shows I still get to… Continue reading Little me is listening.
  • What college is doing to my confidence.
    The community college I’m going to has two different summer sessions, each running 6 weeks. Summer 1 began May 27th and ended July 3rd, Summer 2 began July 7th and runs through August 14th. If you do two classes during a summer session, you’re considered a full time student. Summer 1 I did Psychology and… Continue reading What college is doing to my confidence.
  • Psychology 101.9
    From Kindergarten through Eighth Grade I attended a private Christian school in a small town near where I live. We mostly used a self-taught curriculum and classes were separated by groups of grades since our school was so small. These groups occasionally fluctuated from year to year. The summer after Eighth Grade, before my Freshman… Continue reading Psychology 101.9
  • Say it again.
    The perfect way to spite perfection is to do it anyway. You got this.” Not to be egotistical, but I said that. And the best part about it is, I didn’t remember saying it until a friend quoted me and gave me credit. Don’t get me wrong, I remember having the conversation with my friend;… Continue reading Say it again.
  • Stranger’s Memories
    Recently I opened up Facebook on a web browser. I don’t have the app on my phone, and only keep my account because it’s the only connection I have to my half-brother, and because of Facebook Marketplace. (I’m granny-core trash, y’all.) I was there to look up something specific, but got distracted (as one does)… Continue reading Stranger’s Memories
  • Just ramblings.
    8 June 2025 I often find myself opening up a browser on my laptop with no real aim or goal in mind except that I’m following a feeling I haven’t been able to explain. Tonight, I think I pinpointed what it is I’m looking for. I’m looking for the rush that came with the mid-00s… Continue reading Just ramblings.
  • In light of Taylor Swift (finally) owning her own work.
    31 May 2025 I became a Swiftie right before the 1989 album released, so by the time reputation came out I was all in. Back then, the fandom was centralized on Tumblr and followed Taylor’s instagram and the speculations were that there would be some secret album called Eclipse that she would drop the night of the… Continue reading In light of Taylor Swift (finally) owning her own work.
  • The weirdest thing my therapist has said to me
    15 May 2025 I’ve been in therapy for a little over a year now and today’s session included me admitting that I realize I have abandonment issues. So original. If you knew me in real life, that’s not something you would expect to be my reality, and if you knew me in real life you… Continue reading The weirdest thing my therapist has said to me
  • for the stranger
    7 May 2025 I’ve been writing since I was seven years old; basically as long as I’ve known how to hold a pencil and form letters with it and put those letters into (often misspelled) words and string those words into semi-coherent sentences. When people would ask, I would say, “I’ve been journaling since I… Continue reading for the stranger
  • I’m back, here.
    For a moment, I had entertained the idea of moving over to Substack from WordPress. It seemed the thing everyone else was doing, so maybe I should see what all the fuss is about, right? And then someone I follow pointed out how Substack allows Nazi’s to post on their platform, so I’ve decided that’s… Continue reading I’m back, here.