(journal entry)
“I used to read about historical events and find it…interesting? odd? How people could go on with normal life as well, the weight of the historical event seeming all encompassing. But of course what I’m learning about is the main thing—I’m having to focus on that—but history isn’t this singular happening, its a bunch of small shifts into a certain direction simultaneously along with life in the normal sense.
Big, one-time events happen, but they aren’t as common, they’re just the touchstones of history classes. But it’s these everyday shifts that have the most effect and lead us to the big events.
These are the symptoms, the warning of disease, and we ignore it, choosing instead to push through in hopes it’s not a big deal. We try and convince ourselves the atrocities aren’t real and soon enough we’ll be too far gone.
It’s all happening, in real time, and there are cowards who contribute and heroes who risk everything. There are threats everywhere. … And people are scared.
And still, I come into work, I answer the phones, I go to class, I study for exams, I dream of a future that offers me freedom that has never been available before but now is within reach even though I’m uncertain what the state of the world, our country, this state, my town will be by then.
Hope is waking up and doing the mundane just in case things work out.”
1988- 